Monday, January 7, 2008
Now Hiring!
Function4 Sports will be hiring 2 energetic, hard working sport enthusiasts to work in our shipping Department. Pay is above average and must be able to work Mon-Fri only from 9-5. Hours will change due to demand. Must be 16 or older and have your own transportation. Familiarity with skis and snowboards will help a lot! Interested? Email aaron@function4sports.com.
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25 comments:
will I be able to work with Fatty, Tatooey and Fuzzy as part of this job?
I understand your have three position 'Fatty', 'Fuzzy' and 'Tattooey'. Which one is this for?
I am sure I can master the sales techniques of misrepresenting the type of merchandise and then refusing returns in a hostile manner.
Dear Sir, I believe I have all the qualities needed for a brilliant and glittering career in the field of Snowboardsurfing. Although I have no tattoos, no facial hair, am of slim build and not afflicted with dwarfism, just check out my customer interraction:
"FUCK OFF, YOU NOOB".
Well...........do I get the job ?
Well do I ......Shorty ?
Can I be Drinky?
your guys are "loosers"
dont fuck with david thorne
I believe my "mad skillz" at Angry Birds makes me a shoe in for one of these two positions. Fuck off n00bs!
Are you guys still giving away free snowboards?
Will full training be provided? Will it teach me how to grunt and play Angry Birds?
I would love to work with you, Fatty, and Tattooey, but I will NOT work with Fuzzy. He is an arrogant Foggot!
I would greatly enjoy working for your firm. Please reply with an application and an idea of how often I would have to "fuck off." Also, will I have to "fuck off" myself or will you personally be helping me to "fuck off."
I understand that recent internet activity has lead to increase in your inability to personally tell others to "fuck off" and have had to resort to out sourcing much of the "fucking off."
I can work at your shop! I have my earlobes stretched, and I have four tattoos. Does that qualify me? I also have no experience in customer satisfaction, so that should qualify me instantly.
Will I get to tell noobs to fuck off from the day I start, or do you first want me to get a few months experience just giving away free snowboards while watching Fatty, Tatooey and Fuzzy do the real work?
noob here, just wanted to make sure Fatty knows about the new angry bird app!!
Also, could I have a job - I have a rash to show you.
Oh WOW!! you are still in business??
Dude i love telling people to fuck off. i so wana work there
Function4Sports, the online joke. After the 24b7 rant, I'm surprised ANYONE uses you guys anymore. And your owner?
how NOT to handle yourself online, talk about a backfire. Some people just don't get it, and I'm here to ensure they do.
Next time you act like a child, do it privately, so you won't be publicly embarrassed, and your store/career tarnished. You guys are just assholes.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/function-4-sports-harrisonburg
Says it all people. Don't use them, unless you like being abused, called names, and told to fuck off.
What a nice group of people.
I see your future... I see you living in your parent's basement.
Don't fuck with us.
An example of my excellent customer service skills for you to consider: "Thank you for calling Function 4 Sports. I hope you die in a fall."
But before you hire me, will the store provide the chair to sit around in and Angry Birds as well?
If I work for you can I still have a free board, or do I have to steal stuff like the rest of the staff?
This is the perfect example of several things:
1. How NOT to treat your customers, no matter how new they are.
2. How NOT to act when faced with a customer request.
3. What happens when you mess with the wrong person and your words are posted clearly on the internet and it goes viral.
Well done, Anton. Well done. Even I, as an internet marketing and PR specialist, couldn't help you, nor would I. You dug your own grave, bought your own rope and hung your own self.
Bravo. This will go down in Internet PR marketing as the worst ever.
I am highly qualified at being a prick - My references hate me so much that they ill tell you I'm a nice guy so you won't hire me, but its a lie, I swear I'm a dick
My grandma would like to work for you. She needs a job since I have taken to cashing her social security checks and using the money to buy scratch-off lottery tickets and alcohol. She meets the qualification of being over 16 and has transportation in the form of a motorized wheelchair-type conveyance designed for fat people.
She is a sports enthusiast who greatly enjoys watching monster truck rallies and shooting squirrels with the shotgun that she won from her cousin Maynard in a poker game in 1972.
I hope the job is still open. She would be a great addition to your staff.
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